Our world is increasingly becoming more fast-paced. Technology is changing at lightning speed and everything we do is rushed and crammed into an ever-decreasing amount of time.
Stress levels for children (and adults alike) are also on the increase, and “about 10% of children & young people have a mental health problem” (according to the Rethink website). Self-esteem and confidence is also on the decline, often leading to things like failure at school and anti-social behaviour.
So what do we do about it you may ask?
Learn how to relax. There is actually more to it than just relaxation, but ultimately it is the key. I am going to share the techniques that have worked for myself and the children I have worked with over the years. As a Children’s Relaxation Coach and Primary Music Teacher specialising in working with Early Years and Primary children in inner city schools, I have had several opportunities to utilise the following skills in my teaching and tutoring.
1) Playing – Allowing yourself and your child to simply play, dance, move, explore and enjoy themselves regularly feeds and revitalises the soul, providing you with a reservoir of joy, happiness, and energy. Remember too that curiosity is a natural part of growing up and children need the freedom to explore the world around them regularly.
2) Yoga/Tai-chi/Qi Gong – Regular, daily practice of any or all of these ‘art forms’ will not only strengthen the physical body, but also the mind. With children, yoga poses are best introduced through stories which engage the child’s imagination. For example, the child may imagine themselves rooted deeply to the ground, standing strong and unwavering for the ‘Tree’ pose or imagine themselves curled up safely inside their shells in ‘Tortoise’ pose. Affirmations such as ‘I am strong’ or ‘I am safe’ may be repeated while doing these poses to help boost a child’s self-esteem and sense of safety.
3) Massage – Self-massage or partner massage is a great way of relaxing the body and mind. The massage does not need to be complicated and you do not need to be trained to do it. In fact, you can find books on self-massage in local bookshops and online. Once again though, with children, it is a great idea to use stories or concepts as the basis of the massage. A massage based around a thunderstorm or a trip to the jungle can bring some very imaginative techniques that will leave your child (and yourself) feeling very relaxed and energised!
4) Breathing – Learning to breathe correctly is one of the most important techniques of relaxing. One technique I use regularly with the children I work with (of all ages) is the ‘3 deep breaths’ technique. When a child becomes upset, I sit with them and the two of us breathe together. We breathe in deeply through our noses, and then exhale through our mouths. Most of the time you will only need to do this 3 times, but you will need to judge the situation. In a group situation where the children are very familiar with each other, I often end up with several children joining in with the exercise. Ultimately, the whole situation becomes a very impromptu healing moment for everyone involved!
5) Affirmations – I just love affirmations! Remaining positive in a world where negativity seems to abound, self-esteem and confidence can quickly fade away, especially in young minds and hearts. Repeating short, simple affirmations, regularly throughout the day can give a huge, greatly needed, boost to a child’s self-esteem and confidence levels. Try some of these with your child: ‘I am a star’; ‘I am relaxed’; ‘I am a genius’; ‘I am courageous’; ‘I am strong’; ‘I am happy and peaceful’.
6) Relaxation – Some people may call this relaxation, visualisation, meditation, or sometimes even prayer. However, through all my years of learning and practising all of these ‘techniques’, I’ve noticed that they are all virtually the same. Some can be picky and pedantic about it, but I simply prefer to group them together, often referring to this category as meditation. The best way to start with meditation is to simply learn to be still for a minute at a time. There is a great website which contains both audio and video meditations created by a fantastic international group called the Brahma Kumaris (http://www.just-a-minute.org/). Their form of meditation has definitely been the most beneficial and easiest form of meditation I have ever encountered and best of all, it is quick which is great for those of us who don’t seem to have much time throughout our day.
If you feel that the above form of meditation is too ‘adult oriented’, then try the following meditation. I often use this to help a child relax in the run up to an exam or after a hard day at school:
‘Floating’ (from ‘The Wishing Star’ by Marneta Viegas)
“Close your eyes, be very still and imagine you whole body is becoming as light as a feather. Wiggle your toes and imagine that they are becoming so light they start to float into the air. Let them drift upwards. And now try to feel as if your legs are turning into feathers. Your legs feel so light now. Can you feel them starting to drift upwards? They are no longer heavy, but soft and light. Now feel your tummy becoming soft and light like a feather. Enjoy this feeling, as your body slowly gets lighter and lighter. Feel your arms becoming light. Let your fingers gently relax and float upwards. Feel them floating in the air. Finally let your head be light. Feel all the tension melt away, as your head becomes soft and light. Now your whole body is as light as a pile of feathers. You feel soft and relaxed. Slowly allow your body to float upwards, and see how light you can be. The lighter you are, the higher you will float.... Keep repeating to yourself I am as light as a feather, I am light, I am light, and watch how high you can float. Stay up in the air enjoying this lovely feeling of lightness, until you are ready to drift down again.
And now, when you are ready, wiggle your fingers and toes, have a big stretch and open your eyes.”
Ultimately, learning how to relax is just one of the many ways of dealing with this fast-paced world of ours. No matter how much time you or your child(ren) have to relax, make the time. All it really takes is 1-30 minutes a day. Tailor it to your needs, your timetable, your life, your child(ren). In the end you will all benefit greatly from making the time to do 1 or more of the above suggestions.
Really now, what have you got to lose?
Suggested Reading:
‘101 Relaxation Games for Children’ by Alison Bartl and Klaus Puth
‘Aladdin’s Magic Carpet and Other Fairytale Meditations for Children’ by Marneta Viegas
‘Emotional Healing and Self-esteem: Inner-life Skills of Relaxation, Visualisation and Meditation for Children and Adolescents’ by Mark Pearson
‘Self-Massage’ by Jacqueline Young
‘The Wishing Tree: 52 Meditations for Children (Ages 5+)’ by Marneta Viegas
‘Yoga Games for Children’ by Danielle Bersma & Marjoke Visscher
‘Yoga Adventure for Children’ by Helen Purperhart
Links to suggested resources:
http://www.innerspace.org.uk/index.asp
http://www.relaxationexpert.co.uk/HowToHelpChildrenRelax.html
