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Over the years that I was training to sing, the one thing that held me back was the fear of making mistakes. I had this unreasonable attitude that if I sang one note wrong, or made a slightly less than nice sound, people around me would suddenly think I was a horrible singer, regardless of how well the rest of the song went. At one point, in my teens, I was so fearful of this that I wouldn't even practice if anyone was around, or I thought could maybe hear me.
Then, while I was training in London, I was due to do a showcase, which would account highly for my final grade. I was feeling confident, and had prepared some great vocal lines, showing off all I could do.
Sadly, four days before, I got laryngitis, meaning I barely had any speaking voice, and a much lower than average singing voice. I stayed in the house, steamed up to four times a day (best cure for any vocal issues!), kept hydrated and generally tried to relax as much as possible. I would hum through my songs, to keep my voice going, and tried to not panic.
Showcase day came, and I was a bit better, but definitely not the top of my game. I went onstage and sang for 30 minutes... I felt so annoyed and upset that I couldn't sing the way I normally would, and I felt like everyone was looking at me with pity and embarrassment.
The minute I left the stage, I ran to the toilets and cried my eyes out. Shortly after, my singing teacher at the time, and my sister, who had obviously heard me singing for many years, came in to find me. They both reassured me it wasn't that bad and that just because I couldn't use my wide vocal range and vocal 'tricks' did not mean it was a disaster. Needless to say I simply didn't believe them.
The following day, I sat in class with my fellow singers and watch the footage back of our performances for critique and comments. I waited until my video appeared on the screen, and prepared for the worst........
To my amazement, I actually didn't sound that bad! Ok, so my planned vocal wasn't there, I slightly cracked a couple of notes and you could tell I was nervous (correctly pointed out by my stage performance teacher), but overall, it was still an above average performance, which was reflected in my critiques and markings from the tutors marking that night.
After many years of studying jazz/pop singing, it wasn't until this moment, only 2 years ago, that I realised how much I had been holding myself back, and also not allowing myself to simply enjoy performing, on the basis of a possible mistake. This one lesson was what really helped me move onwards and upwards.
So learn from MY mistake everyone and reach your fullest potential!
